Parenting; live guilt-free
It was 5am in the morning and I had just put my son back to sleep when the thought of writing this blog crossed my mind.
What day is it? I thought, and then looked at my phone. This was something I had definitely expected; loosing track of time and days. What I hadn't expected was the feeling of guilt that hit me very often as a mother. Whenever I spared sometime for myself leaving him with his grand parents I felt guilty. It didn't matter if it was because of the time that I took out to enjoy a long bath once in a while or just enjoy a meal knowing that he has already had his milk.
The mere thought of leaving my toddler in other room made me think that I am not a good mom. Expressing the fatigue that I felt and complaining of not being able to sleep or do certain activities made me feel guilty. I started judging myself more than others. Postpartum depression is a strong word to use but living with this gulit made me low. While looking at myself in mirror and observing the changes in my body made me feel bad, acknowledging this feeling made me feel even more guilty. Am I not supposed to just enjoy motherhood and not complain?
Should doing little things for myself be the last priority? How do I cope up with the guilt of feeling the joy of finding happiness in something else that is not related to my child.
This is just the beginning of the trap in which many parents fall or have already fallen. We forget that these pleasures are to be lived guilt free as they give us the energy and motivation to be better parents. The child would love to see a happy parent spending a little less time with him than feeling irritation in parents behavior. Children of younger age group may not express but can certainly feel your emotions, expressions and behavior.
Do your child a favor by living for yourself too. Be a happy parent to raise your child well and not a hard worker to prove being a good parent to your conscience.
P.S: Thank you so much family for being such a great support.
Manisha Dawar
(A Proud Mother)